Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
