Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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