Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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