I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
