he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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