Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
