I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
