I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
