you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
