There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
