I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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