Pappa wants mamma naked
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
