and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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