that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
