just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
its liver damage thursday
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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