I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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