some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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