I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
