I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
