So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He passed out mid-signature
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
