So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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