But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Your penis caused this!
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