I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The air was thick with penises
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
