when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
