I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
