I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
