it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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