Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
