What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Randomize
