from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
