She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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