So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
