This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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