doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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