Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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