everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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