I love black thongs
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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