Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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