What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
