She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
birth control should be required to get into college
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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