He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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