at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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