U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
