just tell him i said nine months
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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