How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
