This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
