before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
