I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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