And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
