don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
