Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
