This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
