I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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