Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It's just like the Real World with babies
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
