maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
a search helicopter?!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
